Deb & Peter’s Handfasting Ceremony

Ok, so I thought I’d put a little bit of background information on what Handfastings are and what they are all about. I’ve included some links to some pages we looked at when we began organising stuff.

Basically, its how people used to get married!

The name comes from the act of binding the hands of the couple during ceremony - from which comes the phrase “tying the knot”! There are plenty of theories, but the couple stay bound just for the ceremony, or for the whole day, even for the duration of the honeymoon (at least until after they had their first night together… this was all designed of course to produce offspring….!)

Basically, anywhere that you may read that says “this way is the traditional way” is  thinking wishfully…. the actual tradition ws lost and forgotten a long time ago, when anything remotely non-Christian was destroyed, burned, or just plainly persecuted. The ‘traditions’ that abound today are mostly no more than a couple of hundred years old. Nevertheless, there is still a memory of it, and couples who have chosen to pursue this kind of formalised union have essentially used Handfasting (name, concept and ceremony) to formulate their own wedding ceremony.

So it would be rather spurious to claim we are doing a “traditional” Handfasting - because we’re not!

Deb has her Irish/Celtic ancestry, but she doesn’t claim to live or practice a strictly Celtic-Pagan lifestyle. I’m of Greek heritage, and certainly don’t live the ‘traditional Greek/Eastern Orthodox way of life. However, we both nominally categorise our ‘belief system’ as “pagan” - but merely for want of a better word! I am certainly more pantheistic and animist in my practices, and Deb most certainly works somewhere near the vicinity of Wicca; however we really can’t label our spirituality, because for each of us it is a uniquely individual and subjective experience/connection to the Divine. We don’t even necessarily agree ourselves on matters of faith - but we do respect each other enough to allow the other to explore these things in their own manner, for we both understand that these things are deeply personal. For us, it is enough to say that we each have gnosis!

The Handfast appealed to us both because of  the symbolism of “tying the knot”. One thing we have taken on is the finding of the Handfasting Ribbon, which we will then both work on (embroidering, etc) in the next few months. That Ribbon will then be kept and treasured as a sacred item that represents our union. I suggested that I make a Dream-web incorporating the Ribbon, and hang it above our bed!

We still haven’t decided whether we’re going to do rings - but we both agree we like the symbolism of the ring (ie, eternity, infinity, etc), and Deb has a particular penchant for the Russian Wedding rings, with their 3-ring interlaced structure (”…three rings for the Elven Kings under the sky…”)

The ceremony is going to be located outside, beside a Creek, in our local “country”. For me, this is special, because the location is one which I have spent many a time contemplating life, love, and Uni essays. I grew up near this waterway, I even went to a school situated on the banks of this waterway (albeit a little further downstream). This area was even sacred to the Wurundjeri-willam with many foods and medicines being gathered from along this creek. For us, doing ceremony within nature (even if it is a manicured park) is a very big part of our respective faiths. And we hope we can honour this waterway by performing this ceremony at its side. I guess I see it as a little thank-you, a giving-back to the land that has nurtured me for so many years of my life!

Anyway, if you wanna know more about the “tradition” of Handfasting, check out these links:

www.handfasting.info

Wikipedia article

earth-dancing

Scottish Handfasting

Celtic/Neopagan Handfasting

Jennifer & Darren’s Handfasting

See you the day!

….pete…..