Filed under: Handfasting, Marriage, faith, paganism, religion, spirituality
Its been two months now, and people are still asking us, “How’s married life?”
The answer in a nutshell is “great!”
But it is interesting when folks pose questions like, “is it any different?”
Strangely, it is. Perhaps it is the act of ritual and ceremony which changes how one feels about a relationship, but there is now more of a sense of permanency and seriousness to our relationship. The best way I can describe it is like the difference between a Dress Rehearsal and an actual Performance in the theatre: in both situations you are performing your production to the best of your ability, however in the first instance you have some allowance for stuff-ups, but in the second you are really doing it – and of course if things slip up, you improvise and get on with the show and hope the audience don’t pick up on it.
Jokes aside, there has definitely been some manner of energetic shift with both Deb and I about our lives together. We appear to be more focussed on long-term goals and issues – perhaps because of the intensity of short-term vision we had in the months leading up the Handfasting! 
But we are now considering what to do and where to be, whereas previously we didn’t. Perhaps we have also undergone a certain level of maturing also, where the lead-up to marriage meant we had to each consolidate our individual paths and integrate what we have learned into a new life as a ‘partner’.
Needless to say, we are probably more in love today than we were two months ago. And that day was so wonderful, we often feel like doing it all over again… but then we remember all the planning and logistics and breathe a sigh of relief that its all done! HAHAHA!!!
Thanks heaps again to all our family and friends who came, and thanks heaps for the wonderful gifts, and for making that day so memorable. See you again for the anniversary perhaps……?
Love & Lite,
Pete, Deb, Sophia, Jess, & Maggie
Filed under: Handfasting, Lawful union, Marriage, Updates, paganism, photos, spirituality
“Where’s the park? Has anyone got a copy of the invitation?”
Here’s the bridal party (and horse) rambling through the suburban streets.
Sophia smelling the roses.
The ‘Men in Black’. Waiting for the fashionably-late Bride.
“Here comes the Bride”
The Ceremony
Tying the knot
Filed under: Gift wishlist, Green, Handfasting, Lawful union, Marriage, eco-friendly products, ecological, environmentally friendly, paganism, spirituality, sustainability
OK, OK…. its taken me a few days to recover, but I have finally updated this site….
WE DID IT!! HUZZAH!
And what a wonderful day it was for everyone. The weather deities kept up their part of the bargain and gave us a wonderful rainless day; our friends and family that were stuck behind flood-waters in East Gippsland made it up at the eleventh hour; and there was enough food and drink to satisfy everyone’s tummies!
Thank you heaps to all our friends who came to both ceremony and feast; it meant so much to us that you came to share with us this day. And of course thank you to everyone that assisted in some way. It really was a communal effort, and for us that was one of the most important things: that our community would gather and help bring it all together, just like in old times where weddings/etc were seen as community events.
And thanks also to all of you re: gifts. We were so pleased to see that you all put so much thought into how your gifts would impact environmentally. There were so many inventive ways of wrapping gifts, and giving cards, it was truly inspiring. And we estimate that the carbon-footprint left behind by our event was minimal compared to most weddings.
We are still trying to bring the house back to a relative state of normalcy, but we’re pretty much there. It seems strange not to see the marquee in the back yard! We will be heading down to Bruthen for a break next week, so we’ll finally be able to let our hair down.
We’re meeting with Niki (photographer) tomorrow to check out her pics. I will endeavour to post some images up when we get them. If others have nice photos they’d like to share, let me know and we’ll work out how to post them up.
A few people also asked for a copy of the ceremony. I’ll get onto posting that up too.
So even though the event is over, there’s still a few things that can be done here.
Again, thanks all for coming. We are truly blessed to count you all as part of our circle.
Mitakuye oyasin,
Pete & Deb
Well, we had our rehearsal on Sunday and all went well. It was a glorious day – praying hard for something like that on Saturday. I know that BOM are saying showers, but computer-simulated forecasts aren’t as reliable as they make them out to be.
But a few things got worked out, and we’d thought we’d let y’all know….
- Meeting: When you rock up to the park on Saturday, head straight for the BBQ area. Its on the eastern side of the creek, at the Bowls Club end (opposite end to the Uni). You should all still have your invitations – maps and Melways references were on that; if you need more info, let me know directly. The ceremonial space will be just nearby, but chapas and nibblies will be at the sheltered BBQ area. We would ask that you go there (there is an ulterior motive for this…)
- Time: Please allow yourself plenty of time to get there. We have said 1:15pm. We really do wanna kick the ceremony off at 2pm, so please allow yourself that 30-45 minutes (again, we have our reasons…)
- Parking: there’s a fair bit of parking scattered all over the place surrounding the park. However, as most of you are responsible, mature adults you probably will be taking public transport to save the environment and drink more in the evening….
Now why am I being so pedantic about the timing and the gathering area? Well, two reasons.
Whilst you all gather and gossip and sip on your champagne and nibble on your nibbly-bits, my good friend Daniel (some of you know him) will be coming around with the rings, and ask you to give them a little blessing. The purpose of this is for all our friends and family to put their loving energy and goodwill into those talismans that will for us symbolise not only our commitment to each other, but also to the wonderful energy of the ceremony. It doesn’t need to be some grand, Shakespearean soliloquy about eternal love and whatnot – just a sincere, genuine well-wish from your heart. This is how you too will be a part of the ceremony and it saves time later, so the ceremony will be shorter, and we can get back and start eating sooner…..
The other thing is that the ‘Men in Black’ – Daniel, Damon, and Jay – will let you know when it is time to head to the ceremonial space. We will be standing in a circle (chairs in the centre will be for the immediate family, elderly, infirm, lactating mothers, expectant mothers, etc). Before entering the circle, you will be asked to step through a gate of smoking censers. Also known as “smudging” or “smoking”, this is a ritual act of purification that is common to nearly all cultures (yes, even the Christians! What do you think Frankincense and Myrrh are used for?). Please allow the smoke to ‘bathe’ you before taking your place in the Circle. There will be plenty of folk there who are familiar with such acts, so watch, learn and feel free to ask! There’s no trick to it, and it won’t ruin your dress, hair, nails, etc. perfectly harmless – but other than cleansing your aura, and the space, it triggers something hidden deep in one’s Collective Unconscious that we are about to do something sacred (which of course is what we are doing, more or less….)
Of course, all this will be explained on the day too… but we thought it would be important to let you know in advance.
Keep tuned to this site for further updates as the week rolls on….
5 more sleeps….
See you on the day!
Pete
Filed under: Green, Handfasting, ecological, faith, paganism, religion, spirituality, sustainability
I have been of late questioned as to why I (or indeed anyone) chooses to tick the ‘Pagan’ box on a religion questionnaire.
Strangely enough, this scrutiny has come more from atheists and rationalists than it does from Christians or those of other faiths (although Catholics have been known to cross themselves and pray for my soul when in my presence! LOL)
Well, simply put paganism (note the lower case ‘p’) is merely the spiritual tradition of the People (a folk religion, if you will). There is no institution, no ‘church’, no formalised organisation, dogma, or theology. In my humble opinion it is a term that denotes something akin to agnosticism (the belief that there is something out there, but we don’t know what; as opposed to atheism who claim categorically that there is absolutely and irrefutably nothing out there…) except that paganism does tend towards being pantheistic (everything in the Universe is Divine) and inherently pluralistic (that all expressions of faith/meaning are valid and more often than not culturally defined; which is why pagans are inherently eclectic in their beliefs and tolerant of all other faiths).
Paganism (upper case ‘P’) on the other hand is a closed set of beliefs, and does generally refer back to the pre-Roman-Christian religions of Western Europe; this includes Druidism, Wicca, Nordic, Celtic, etc. The term “Pagan” was not really used until after the Christian dominance of the Roman State, when everyone else who followed “the old gods” was denounced and belittled for not coming over to the “new way”. So Paganism became a term to refer to those who worshipped deities like Apollo, Athene, Jupiter, Isis, Mars, Diana, etc etc. (the old gods of Rome, Greece, Egypt, Syria, Persia…)
Of course it doesn’t take a genius to understand that the exoteric rituals, symbols and myths of Roman (Pauline) Christianity were all borrowed from the religions of the day. What better time for the birth of a Sun-God than Winter Solstice (Christmas) and the death/rebirth of that same Sun-God than the Spring Equinox (Easter). I explain it like this: if Australia was to become a Republic, would the people approve of losing the Queen’s Birthday holiday? Of course not – so the holiday would remain, and we’d change the name of it! Always a good way to win over the punters!
For me, paganism (little p) is merely the exoteric (outward) expression of a fundamental Truth that is internal and subjective, whilst also being collective (this begins to fall into the realm of CG Jung’s theory of the collective unconscious…). I personally don’t follow the forms of Paganism (big P), as I have explored (and continue to) notions of the Divine on an internal manner, and choose to express it by way of the world around me, ie: nature. For me, it is more or less irrelevant to personify or anthropomorphise the Divine (ie God) by labelling it or defining it; hence wrote the Chinese sage Laozi “The Dao that can be named is not the Eternal Dao”….
This is starting to drift into the realms of metaphysical philosophy and theology, and that is not the purpose of this piece (its also distracting from studying for exams). But rather, I would like to say that if I can see the inherent divinity in all that lies around me (ie, the natural environment), then perhaps am I not more likely to treat it with respect, and be grateful for what I have been blessed with? This could be a circular argument, but even if one studies Biology, Physics, Chemistry, Chaos mathematics, etc one can get a sense of the inherent beauty and patterned organisation of the Natural Universe. Do I need to decide between Evolution and Creation? What is the point of this? Atheist tend to argue that one should remain in the present moment and appreciate what is immediate and tangible. But one doesn’t need to remain a materialist to perceive the beauty of the natural world: it is what it is, and I’d rather that tree was there rather than that ugly car park!
This is my personal myth. And ceremony is but the re-enactment of that myth.
So the handfasting for me is the re-enactment of the coming together of two fundamentally opposed yet inter-dependent forces (yin and yang; female and male; etc) to create a unity that is more than the sum of its individual parts. For this myth – the inter-relationship and dynamic interplay between two relative forces – is what I see when I look out upon the world.
This is what my faith is, to me. I am pagan by virtue of the fact that I respect this ‘diversity-within-unity’ concept, that this is how I perceive and comprehend the order of the Universe. I need no scripture, no tradition, no ‘great book’ to justify my beliefs, for all the justification I need is all around me.
I hope this ramble has shed some light on this subject….
See you on the day!
