Deb & Peter’s Handfasting Ceremony

For those of you who brought us fruit trees as gifts, this is just to let you know that they have been planted and are going quite well.

The worm farms are chugging away producing a fine vintage of worm-wee which the plants are drinking up thirstily, and all the environmentally-friendly packaging and wrappings are putting much needed carbon back into the soil (via composting).

Thanks heaps to you all…..

Love & Lite,

Pete, Deb, Sophia, Jess & Maggie

OK, OK…. its taken me a few days to recover, but I have finally updated this site….

WE DID IT!! HUZZAH!

And what a wonderful day it was for everyone. The weather deities kept up their part of the bargain and gave us a wonderful rainless day; our friends and family that were stuck behind flood-waters in East Gippsland made it up at the eleventh hour; and there was enough food and drink to satisfy everyone’s tummies!

Thank you heaps to all our friends who came to both ceremony and feast; it meant so much to us that you came to share with us this day. And of course thank you to everyone that assisted in some way. It really was a communal effort, and for us that was one of the most important things: that our community would gather and help bring it all together, just like in old times where weddings/etc were seen as community events.

And thanks also to all of you re: gifts. We were so pleased to see that you all put so much thought into how your gifts would impact environmentally. There were so many inventive ways of wrapping gifts, and giving cards, it was truly inspiring. And we estimate that the carbon-footprint left behind by our event was minimal compared to most weddings.

We are still trying to bring the house back to a relative state of normalcy, but we’re pretty much there. It seems strange not to see the marquee in the back yard! We will be heading down to Bruthen for a break next week, so we’ll finally be able to let our hair down.

We’re meeting with Niki (photographer) tomorrow to check out her pics. I will endeavour to post some images up when we get them. If others have nice photos they’d like to share, let me know and we’ll work out how to post them up.

A few people also asked for a copy of the ceremony. I’ll get onto posting that up too.

So even though the event is over, there’s still a few things that can be done here.

Again, thanks all for coming. We are truly blessed to count you all as part of our circle.

Mitakuye oyasin,

Pete & Deb

I have been of late questioned as to why I (or indeed anyone) chooses to tick the ‘Pagan’ box on a religion questionnaire.

Strangely enough, this scrutiny has come more from atheists and rationalists than it does from Christians or those of other faiths (although Catholics have been known to cross themselves and pray for my soul when in my presence! LOL)

Well, simply put paganism (note the lower case ‘p’) is merely the spiritual tradition of the People (a folk religion, if you will). There is no institution, no ‘church’, no formalised organisation, dogma, or theology. In my humble opinion it is a term that denotes something akin to agnosticism (the belief that there is something out there, but we don’t know what; as opposed to atheism who claim categorically that there is absolutely and irrefutably nothing out there…) except that paganism does tend towards being pantheistic (everything in the Universe is Divine) and inherently pluralistic (that all expressions of faith/meaning are valid and more often than not culturally defined; which is why pagans are inherently eclectic in their beliefs and tolerant of all other faiths).

Paganism (upper case ‘P’) on the other hand is a closed set of beliefs, and does generally refer back to the pre-Roman-Christian religions of Western Europe; this includes Druidism, Wicca, Nordic, Celtic, etc. The term “Pagan” was not really used until after the Christian dominance of the Roman State, when everyone else who followed “the old gods” was denounced and belittled for not coming over to the “new way”. So Paganism became a term to refer to those who worshipped deities like Apollo, Athene, Jupiter, Isis, Mars, Diana, etc etc. (the old gods of Rome, Greece, Egypt, Syria, Persia…)

Of course it doesn’t take a genius to understand that the exoteric rituals, symbols and myths of Roman (Pauline) Christianity were all borrowed from the religions of the day. What better time for the birth of a Sun-God than Winter Solstice (Christmas) and the death/rebirth of that same Sun-God than the Spring Equinox (Easter). I explain it like this: if Australia was to become a Republic, would the people approve of losing the Queen’s Birthday holiday? Of course not - so the holiday would remain, and we’d change the name of it! Always a good way to win over the punters!

For me, paganism (little p) is merely the exoteric (outward) expression of a fundamental Truth that is internal and subjective, whilst also being collective (this begins to fall into the realm of CG Jung’s theory of the collective unconscious…). I personally don’t follow the forms of Paganism (big P), as I have explored (and continue to) notions of the Divine on an internal manner, and choose to express it by way of the world around me, ie: nature. For me, it is more or less irrelevant to personify or anthropomorphise the Divine (ie God) by labelling it or defining it; hence wrote the Chinese sage Laozi “The Dao that can be named is not the Eternal Dao”….

This is starting to drift into the realms of metaphysical philosophy and theology, and that is not the purpose of this piece (its also distracting from studying for exams). But rather, I would like to say that if I can see the inherent divinity in all that lies around me (ie, the natural environment), then perhaps am I not more likely to treat it with respect, and be grateful for what I have been blessed with? This could be a circular argument, but even if one studies Biology, Physics, Chemistry, Chaos mathematics, etc one can get a sense of the inherent beauty and patterned organisation of the Natural Universe. Do I need to decide between Evolution and Creation? What is the point of this? Atheist tend to argue that one should remain in the present moment and appreciate what is immediate and tangible. But one doesn’t need to remain a materialist to perceive the beauty of the natural world: it is what it is, and I’d rather that tree was there rather than that ugly car park!

This is my personal myth. And ceremony is but the re-enactment of that myth.

So the handfasting for me is the re-enactment of the coming together of two fundamentally opposed yet inter-dependent forces (yin and yang; female and male; etc) to create a unity that is more than the sum of its individual parts. For this myth - the inter-relationship and dynamic interplay between two relative forces - is what I see when I look out upon the world.

This is what my faith is, to me. I am pagan by virtue of the fact that I respect this ‘diversity-within-unity’ concept, that this is how I perceive and comprehend the order of the Universe. I need no scripture, no tradition, no ‘great book’ to justify my beliefs, for all the justification I need is all around me.

I hope this ramble has shed some light on this subject….

See you on the day!

Well its a far cry from the Talking Heads song.

But thanks to Denise Robinson from the Lakehouse in Daylesford, we shall find ourselves garlanded in the most beautiful and exquisite arrangements of fauna and whatnot.

We haven’t seen any of it yet, but she keeps repeating “Winter wonderland” over and over again. Lots of Yuletide kind of stuff like Holly, Ivy, etc as well as native bits and pieces.

And of course, the stark neutrality of the marquee will also be transformed to look like a homely pavilion…

So a huge thanks to Denise for lending her wonderful talents. I’m sure if you’re looking for a floral arrangement for your next do, you wouldn’t go wrong with getting her expertise!

We’ve had a few people ask us about what we want as gifts.

This is just a reminder that Steph has a list of suggestions, and she is willing, and able (and ready) for your call.

The details are on the wish-list page as well as on the invitation you received, but here’s her number: 0411830920. I don’t think she has voicemail, but you can leave your number so she can call you back.

See you on the day….

One important aspect to our Handfasting ceremony is of course the cord (or ribbon) with which our hands are bound together.

Handfastings were the ceremonies that most people did to get married, as weddings (as we know them) could only be held by the aristocracy and affluent merchant class. As they couldn’t afford rings, the ancient folk tradition of binding the hands together was incorporated into the ceremony, and this is where we get the phrase “tying the knot”.

Strangely enough, we found our cord on Ebay. Lauren in Wendouree makes and sells Handfasting Kits, which include the handmade and custom-made cord.

In keeping with the alchemical theme of our ceremony of two people/energies coming together to create a whole - wegot our cord made from the two colours we have chosen to represent us: green (Pete) and burgundy (Deb). These two colours wind around each other to form the cord which will be tied around our hands.

I am also attaching feathers at either end of the cord, each one representing aspects of each of us - I won’t reveal here which feathers I am using, but see if you can work out on the day which feather represents whom…

There has been a slight change in terms of the celebrant. Joanna unfortunately was unable to continue to be our priestess, due to personal reasons. So we needed to find someone with the right energy to facilitate this important ceremony for us. We eventually got on to Seline - those of you ensconced firmly in Melbourne’s Pagan scene may be familiar with her from her work at Gatherings such as Euphoria.  Seline is a legal celebrant, as well as a Priestess, so now she is going to be running the ceremony for us. However, we still have to say a big, warm thank-you to Livia, who did all the preliminary paperwork and was happy and flexible enough to work with us.

We will be keeping the ceremony brief, and it won’t be full of pagan terminology or rites that may be unknown or misunderstood by our friends and family - the focus is more on us performing something sacred with our community as witnesses to the fact that we are choosing to make a heart-felt commitment to each other. But we will be including a lot of symbolism in the ceremony, following the theme which I have written about so much. Again, see if you can spot the symbols and work out how it all applies…

Yeah well we haven’t posted for a while, but I have had some drafts up which I need to actually finish and post up… or maybe just summarise what’s been going on….

Work has progressed steadily on the house, including the erection of a fence, the laying down of tonnes of mulch, painting of rooms, etc etc…. The catering is well under control, the drinks are ordered, the music has been selected….

…Now for the important stuff - how have we been internally? How have Deb and I been dealing with the impending change….?

Well, we have found for the most part that the concept of ‘marriage’ is not daunting us, as we came to that realisation fairly early on into the piece. Traditionally, Handfastings were held a year and a day from a moment of commitment. In some cultures in native North America, marriages only took place after the birth of a child (a way nomadic cultures ensure continuation of the tribe/culture/species - no point in marrying if you can’t produce offspring..!)

We’ve been together for almost three years now. Sophia has been walking this planet for nigh on 21 months. We can certainly say we have had our ‘year and a day’.

However, there is still the element of commitment. The ceremony we are writing follows the themes of two lives coming together, and becoming inter-twined (see my posting on the handfasting ribbon). For both of us, we have been re-visiting our past lives and dealing with past pains, healing past wounds, and resolving past difficulties - tying up loose ends, if you will…

For those of you familiar with the Tarot, this is the theme of the final Major Arcanum, The World. Both of us are approaching the end of our respective journeys as individuals, and approaching a new beginning as an inter-dependent unit (whilst still retaining some semblance of individuality). Especially given the responsibility of raising children, decisions, words and actions need to represent a form of unity - yet unity is best served as a diverse whole, not as an homogenous one; and so we must also learn to temper our unity with some degree of our unique, individual personalities. Yin may transform into Yang (and vice versa), but there is still always the relativity of the two, which allows for further transformation and complementarity.

So whilst we have ‘been together’ for a while now, we are still daunted and excited about the new journey that is to come. Performing this ceremony in the presence our community is taking that important next step to formalising our commitment to each other.

See you on the day….

Pete & Deb

The floors in the house have just been done, and they look fabtastic!

As soon as Deb gets some shots of it, I’ll post them up (before and after). They look stunning.  Its changed the whole vibe of the space.

We used Bio’s Teak oil. Its smells wonderful. All natural oils (no chemicals), and will protect the original boards well, and can be re-coated and added to without spoiling the ‘look’.

This was all courtesy of our mate Andy from Happy Floor Service. He’s honest, reliable, and does good work for a great price. I strongly recommend you get him and his Happy team if you need any floor-work done. Drop him an email at:

andybwkoh @ hotmail. com (remove the spaces, this is the anti-spam text version).

And in keeping with the whole eco-principle, he’s local! Admittedly, Bio is a Sth Australian  product, but at least its Green!