Deb & Peter’s Handfasting Ceremony

1. Introduction

Seline:

Welcome, family and friends seen and unseen, we have gathered together here this day, to offer Peter and Deborah our love, well wishes, energy and support, most of all we have gathered here to embrace and help celebrate their love and their commitment to each other. My name is Seline Ines Cardamon-Cairns; and like each of you present

 I feel quite honored to be part of this sacred ceremony.

Before we begin Peter and Deborah, would like to honor and acknowledge on this their hand fasting day, the memory of family and friends who have passed the veil.  They would also like to acknowledge the traditional caretakers of this land, the Wurrundjeri-willam and their ancestral spirits. 

 Although they are not here in the physical sense, we know they are here in the hearts and minds of not only Peter and Deborah but also in the hearts and minds of all those whom were blessed in the knowing of them.

This Candle represents them all.  As this flame burns bright so does the love that we shared with all those that have done before.

The tradition that we follow is as old as the written language, it is an act that is as ancient as the history of the human race, and as full of potential as each new morning. Here we stand on sacred ground, for we are in the presence of all things sacred. For that which passes between two loving people is eternally sacred. 

Today will mark the point, in Peter and Deborah’s relationship that brings together their past, their present and their future. The past that has brought them this moment, the present that has made this moment possible, and the future, of whatever will become of this moment. Deborah and Peter have chosen to celebrate their love and commitment in their special and unique way and they are glad that each of you has chosen to share it with them.

 

2. The Blessing of the Elements

Seline:

Peter and Deborah, Blessed be, your union with the gifts of the East: communication of the heart, mind, and body, fresh beginnings with the rising of each sun, and the knowledge of growth, found in the sharing of silence.

Blessed be, your union with the gifts of the North: warmth of hearth and home, the heat of the heart’s passion and the light created by both to lighten the darkest of times.

Blessed be, your union with the gifts of the West: the deep commitments of the lake, the swift excitement of the river, the refreshing cleansing of the rain and the all encompassing passion of the sea.

Blessed be, your union with the gifts of the South: firm foundation on which to build, fertility of the fields to enrich your lives, and a stable home to which you may always return.

3. Unity Candle (Ancestor Candle)

Seline:

Family and friends seen and unseen, the ritual of marriage is not simply a social event; it is a crossing of threads in the fabric of fate. Many strands have brought this couple and their families and friends together and spun their lives into a fabric which is woven on their children.

To represent each family member past, present and future, I wish to invite Deborah’s daughter Jess, and Peter’s sister Stephanie to attend the altar, and with the flame from the Spirit candle light these two candles. Thank you.

I now ask Peter and Deborah to step forward, and light their Unity Candle, and in doing so, they are symbolically uniting both families together. 

 The candle lighting:

Jess and Steph light the individual family candles from the ancestral candle on the altar by using taper candles.

Deb and Pete then take the individual family candles flame by way of taper candles and light the unity candle.

 

4. Marriage Act

Seline:

As a Civil Celebrant, I am duly authorized to solemnize this, marriage, according to the laws of the Commonwealth of Australia.

Peter and Deborah, you have invited us to witness the love and happiness that you have found in each other. Are you ready to make the vows to which you commit yourselves to each other in love?

Peter and Deborah: “We do”

 

5. The Presentation

Others would ask, at this time, “Who gives the bride in marriage?” but as a woman is not property to be bought, nor sold, given nor taken, I simply ask if she comes of her own free will and accord.

So Deborah do you come of your own will and accord?

Deborah: “Yes I have”

 

6. The Asking

Seline:

Peter, will you take Deborah as your partner for life?

In the presence of your family and friends, do you pledge to love, comfort and protect her? Will you respect her ideas, values and convictions, and support her in times of wealth and times of need? Will you foster her individuality, while committing to grow, love and advance together in faith, honesty and   determination? 

Peter: “I will”

Seline:

Deborah, will you take Peter as your partner for life?

In the presence of your family and friends, do you pledge to love, comfort and protect him? Will you respect his ideas, values and convictions, and support him in times of wealth and times of need? Will you foster his individuality while committing to grow, love and advance together in faith, honesty and determination

Deborah: “I will.”

 

7. The Vows

Seline:

I now ask you to both face each other and take hands as you exchange your vows.

Peter:

Deborah,

Since you came into my life I have known what it means to be whole - not on the outside, but on the inside.

With you I have experienced happiness and sadness, grief and bliss, contentment and restlessness. You have, by just being there, given me the space to explore all these extremes and learn how to temper and moderate these emotions, and create something wonderful with it.

You have given me two glorious and beautiful girls and explore the realms of fatherhood and parental responsibility, something I never expected to ever have in this lifetime.

With you I see things in me that I never dreamed possible. Together we form a whole that is so much more than the sum of the parts.

Whilst we have had our disagreements, these have been when we have both forgotten that we are different halves of the same circle. Let us always remember that fire and water work better when they express their unique natures, that unity comes from being firm enough to keep true to our own being, whilst yielding enough to allow the other to be in theirs. You are the yang to my yin, the fire to my water.

I wish to join my life with yours, to stand by your side and sleep in your arms. To be joy to your heart, and food to your soul. To work as partners and live as a family, as we grow old. I vow to love, honor and respect you. To hold you to my heart, but not to bind you to my will. I promise to listen carefully and to speak the truth to stay with you through struggles and the pleasures all the days of my life.

Will you accept me and all that I am? 

Deborah: “I do.”

Deborah:

Peter, I have learned more about myself in the last few years since we’ve met, than in all the years before.

I knew the moment I met you that you were the one for me.

In the many months before we met, I had spoken with a dear friend over many pots of tea about my ideal partner, my soul mate. And that is you.

I love that we are so different yet so much alike.

I love how you guide me, support me and care for me.

I love you with every part of my being and with all of my heart.

I love you for who you are and who you are not.

And I thank you for becoming part of my life and allowing me to become part of yours.

I wish to join my life with yours, to stand by your side and sleep in your arms.

To be joy to your heart, and food to your soul.

To work as partners and live as a family, as we grow old.

I vow to love, honor and respect you.

To hold you to my heart, but not to bind you my will.

I promise to listen carefully and to speak the truth, to stay with you through struggles and the pleasures all the days of my life.

Will you accept me and all that I am?

Peter: “I do.”

 

8. Blessing of the Rings

Seline:

May the ring-bearer Dan and the elementals please approach the altar to present and bless the rings.

Here Dan walks to the East quarter.  As he passes the East quarter he is then followed by the HE/She at the east. Now we have Dan and the East walks pass the north he/she also follows the line. They now walk passed the west and all four of them approach the altar Dan places the rings onto the Pentacle.

Seline:

These rings, are a token of the love that Peter and Deborah share for one another, they serve as a reminder that all in life is a cycle.  All comes to pass and passes away and comes to pass again.

Air Elemental:

 I bless and consecrate these rings by air which is communication, laughter and imagination.

Fire Elemental:

I bless and consecrate these rings by fire which is love, passion and desire.

Water Elemental:

 I bless and consecrate these rings by water, which is compassion, understanding and honesty.

Earth Elemental:

I bless and consecrate these rings by Earth which is stability, dependability and strength. Blessed be.

I bring you the rings, as you exchange your rings.

Peter:

Deborah, I give you this ring as I give myself in everlasting love and affection. May you find shelter, peace and most of all, happiness in the love I give to you for the rest of my life.

Deborah:

Peter, I give you this ring as I give myself in everlasting love and affection. May you find shelter, peace and most of all, happiness in the love I give to you for the rest of my life.

10. Hand Binding.

Seline:

Presents the cord and states:  

This cord which will entwine the hands of Peter and Deborah is symbolic of the love thatunites and binds their hearts and spirits.

Seline ties cord around couples hands 

 

As I bind your hands together with strength, understanding and stability.

May your love and lives endure all.

As I bind your hands together with communication, laughter and hope.

May your lives and love endure all.

As I bind your hands together with love, passion and desire.

May your love and lives endure all.

As I bind your hands together with understanding, compassion and honesty.

May your lives and love endure all.

Here I place my hands over yours and state

Peter and Deborah,

As your hands are joined so shall your lives be joined: Holding each other, caressing each other; supporting each other, and loving each other.

 Above you are the stars; below you are the stones. As time passes, remember: Like a stone should your love be firm, like a star should your love be constant.

Let the powers of the mind and intellects guide you in your joining. Let the strength of your wills bind you together, let the power of love and desire make you happy and the strength of your dedication make you inseparable.  Be close, but not too close. Have patience with one another and, be understanding, for surely storms will come, but they will pass quickly. Be free in giving affection and warmth. Have no fear and do not let the ways and the words of the unenlightened give you unease, for what is shared between you renders negativity powerless.

 

11. Reading

Seline:

Family and friends let us make welcome Jo who will share with us the Apache Wedding Prayer.

Jo:
Now for you there is no rain

For one is shelter to the other

Now for you there is no darkness

For one is counsel to the other

Now for you there is no pain

For one is comfort to the other

Now for you there is no night

For one is light to the other

Now for you there is no cold

For one is warmth to the other

Now, the snow has ended always

Your fears, your needs, your wants at rest

It is that way – today, tomorrow, forever

Now it is good and there is always shelter

And now there is always warmth

And now there is always comfort

Now there is no loneliness

Now, forever, forever, you are as one

There are two bodies

But there is one heart in both of them

And you are the same person.

 

12. Blessing;

Seline:

There is no greater happiness than that of sharing life.

With all its joys and all its cares.

As a loving husband and wife.

For love gives new meaning, and has a special way of growing stronger, and deeper, with every passing day.

Yes, life is so much happier and brighter when you are sharing. The very special joys that come along with loving, giving and caring.

For each of us, a few bright days stand out above the rest.

Peter and Deborah, this day, this hour, is one of those bright days.  Today is the fulfillment of your dearest dream. Together you will create new dreams. This ceremony is the culmination of your shared life, and of working together, not only as a couple but as a family. Yet it is not the end, it is only the beginning.

 You have spoken your vows, made your promises and pledged your love with the giving and receiving of your rings, so therefore on behalf of your family and friends seen and unseen and on the behalf of your community, it is with great pleasure and honor to now declare you Peter and Deborah to be husband and wife.

The cord is removed as I declare you husband and wife.

 

13. Signing of the Certificates

Family and friends Peter and Deborah will now be signing the registry, may the witnesses please join us.

Here we allow time of photos

 

14. Presentation of your Certificate

Here I present you with your signed certificate.

 

15.  Blessing of the Mead

Seline:

In the many names of our god of love whose love began the universe, whose touch sparked all beginnings, I bless and consecrate this wine and you who drink of it.

In the many names of our goddess of love whose love holds all things together, whose body encircles eternity; I bless and consecrate this wine and you who drink of it.

So mote it be.

 I then present you both with the chalice. First to Peter who then presents it to Deborah declaring:

 Peter:

Deborah in our new lives together may you never thirst.

Blessed be.

Peter exchanges a kiss then presents the chalice to Deborah:

 Deborah: 

Peter in our new lives together may you never thirst. 

Blessed be.

                                                            

16. Final Blessing

Seline:

Peter and Deborah, may  the  love  you  have  found  grow  in meaning  and  strength  until its  beauty  is  shown  in  a common  devotion  to  all  that  is  compassionate and life-giving.

 May the flow of your love help brighten the face of the earth? May the source of all love touch and bless your lives with color and courage.

 May  the  blessing  that  rests  upon  all  who  love,  rest  also upon  you, and  fill  you  with  grace.  May the bond that unites you ever be strengthened. 

 May you so love and work together in the days that are to come that your lives shall be enriched and ennobled by a true and deepening comradeship of mind and heart.

 May your continued lives together be joyful and content? May your love continue to be as bright as the stars, as warm as the sun as accepting as the ocean and as enduring as the mountains.

 May the challenges of your life together be met with courage and optimism? May you learn from your failures and grow in your achievements. May life bless you with children, friends, and family in a wide network of mutual support and enjoyment?

 May you face pain, toil and trouble with a stout but light heart? May you share with others the radiance of your seasons of joy and pleasure? May you always remember that laughter is the medicine of the Gods?

 May the spirit of love be ever a part of your lives so that the union we here celebrate this day be worthy of continued celebration tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow.

 We rejoice in this day in the marriage between Peter and Deborah.

We celebrate the love that brought them here to this day. With love that deepens through out the years, may they know its meaning and its mystery, how they become truly one in sharing themselves with one another, and yet, remain truly two in their own uniqueness.

 Go now to you dwelling place, to enter into your days together, may the divine spirit which resides in you both be your guide and light.

May your days and nights together be good and long?

 

Blessed be
Congratulations

Peter and Deborah, I wish you both well on your continued journey.